How I can help you

Meet you in person or online to talk to you about the person you have lost and what you would like  to include in the ceremony.

I will endeavour to capture the truth of a persons life, through your memories and anecdotes, facts and the photographs shared.  If the deceased has left any wishes they can be incorporated into the ceremony.

Zoom gives me the opportunity to talk to people who I cannot meet in person.

If you wish, I can advise on music, songs, poems and readings to help you chose the right words and music to add to the celebration.

Create a script which will be sent to you for your approval.

Support you through the process – contact me by phone, email, Zoom or Facetime if you wish.

Offer support on public speaking if needed, if, during the ceremony they feel unable to read, I will read your words.

Liaise with the Funeral Directors and the ceremony venue. Conduct the ceremony.

Craft a personalised script of the ceremony for you to keep.

Personalising the funeral

We are used to seeing photographs at funerals, and having illustrated orders of service but there are many other things which you can do to personalise a funeral if you wish.

• Where possible I like to encourage other people to be involved in the funeral. This might mean reading and writing the eulogy, it could be reading a poem or  playing an instrument but it could also be helping to decorate the coffin or helping to decorate the room beforehand.  While it may seem daunting to stand up and speak at a funeral, those people who have done so are often very glad that they did and I can offer support if needed.

• Funerals don’t have to be in a place of religious worship or a crematorium and there are no restrictions on where a funerals can be held.  It could be held in a local hall or any other location which could be hired for functions. If you have space it could be held in a home or garden.  After a ceremony at another location, you could have a short ceremony at the crematorium or graveside.

• You don’t have to wear black to a funeral, you can be as colourful as you wish and I will do my best to join in - if you would like me to.

• Decorating the coffin

Coffins can be painted, you can decorate them yourself. Willow coffins can have flowers  woven into them.  

You could also create a decorative drape or create a collage of photographs for the coffin.

• Decorate the room, there are limited opportunities for decoration at a crematorium but if you are holding the ceremony somewhere else and have access to the room for longer, you can decorate the room with flowers, candles,  balloons, fairy lights, bunting - anything which you feel is appropriate.

• Where possible I would always prefer that speakers who knew the person to spoke about them.  You may feel that it would be too difficult on a stressful day when emotions are heightened so you could write a piece which I or another member of the family could read.

• You don’t have to use a traditional black hearse, some undertakers offer different coloured hearses, others offer motor cycles, bicycles, wagons, camper vans, morris minors or land rovers.

For other ideas, there is a very useful book called

we need to talk about the funeral

101 ways to commemorate and celebrate a life

 available as a book HERE

or download HERE